I spluttered in confusion. “And if I don’t?”
“Then I will personally break one of Edith Langham’s fingers every day until you comply. It’s your choice.” She hung up then, and I scrambled off the couch. I just barely made it to the bathroom before the contents of my stomach began emptying into the porcelain bowl, hot tears stinging my eyes and streaming down my face as I sobbed and vomited.
Dante crouched beside me, his gentle hand stroking my hair out of my face and just being there for me. He always had been, but since Beck—and the guys—betrayed me, I was appreciating just how much Dante cared for me.
“They’re fucking twisted,” I croaked, after wiping my mouth on the wet washcloth he handed me. My whole body was trembling, and Dante just gathered me up in his arms, pulling me into his lap despite his own injuries.
“There’s no denying that,” he murmured back, his cheek pressed against my hair as I huddled closer into his warm body. “But if I’ve learned anything about living in a darker world—you’ll never beat them, unless you become them. Is that really something you want to do? Damn your soul like that?”
I shuddered, my mind flashing back to the sound of the gunshot, the splatter of blood and gore, the heavy thump of the Huntley man’s lifeless form hitting the ground. My recurrent nightmares. “Haven’t I already?”
Dante let out a long sigh. “Not even close, Riles. Not even remotely close.”
We stayed like that for a long time, until I started to worry I was hurting him and shifted to stand up.
“Hey,” Dante murmured, catching my face between his palms and halting me. “You know I’ll always have your back, right? You’re not in this alone.”
The way he stared at me … it was intense, passionate, and a bit unnerving.
“I know,” I replied with a tiny smile. “I guess I should get back to my gilded cage before Eddy pays.”
Dante peered at me with that heavy gaze for another long moment before a switch flipped and a devilish grin slid over his face. “Not yet. Debitch said you needed to be at school tomorrow morning, which leaves tonight free.”
I raised my brows, pulling back gently so that his hands left my face. “What did you have in mind?”
“Rabbit just got a new Supra that needs to do a test run. I’m sure he wouldn’t object to you putting her through the paces at Widowmaker. Then when you’re done with that, you can drive one of my cars in the actual race.” His grin was sly, and excitement surged in me for the first time in way too long.
“That’s tonight?” I bit my lip, thinking it over. Widowmaker used to be my race. It was only run twice a year and had a crazy high crash rate. I’d held first place for the last five races and I hated the thought of someone else taking my crown … still, I would have to attempt it in an unfamiliar car and I was carrying a shit load of mental baggage.
“The supra is tricked out with NOS…” Dante coaxed, and I groaned.
“Fuck,” I sighed. “I can’t say no to that.” I scrambled up off the bathroom floor and held out my hand to help Dante up. He grunted as he held his ribs but gave me a tight smile to reassure me he was okay.
“I need something to wear,” I commented as I reached for my toothbrush. I’d been wearing Dante’s t-shirts and shorts for the past week and a half, seeing as I hadn’t left the apartment. But I needed something more kick ass for Widowmaker.
Dante chuckled, shifting past me to grab his phone where he’d left it on the couch. “I’ll call Serena. She’ll get you sorted.”
This time my smile was more genuine. If anyone could make me look badass—other than Eddy—it was Dante’s older sister.
“Holy shit, it’s been so long, Riles!” Serena was a hugger. Over the years I’d grown used to her full bear hugs, and a part of me felt a tiny bit better when she squeezed me tightly.
“I know, so much shit has happened; it feels like ten years since I last saw you.”
She led me across to the couch, and I marveled at the blue streaks in her black hair. Didn’t matter that she was nearing thirty, Serena looked hot and sexy, with a rocker edge.
Her story could have been very different though because it sure as shit started out terribly. In high school she’d been the popular, pretty chick. Until her school’s wide receiver knocked her up at eighteen and then bailed to leave her to raise their kid alone. Luckily her story had a happy ending when “diner guy,” as we’d used to call him, finally got the balls to ask out the pretty waitress that he’d lusted after from afar. Turned out that Rob Laidner, who was a few years older than Serena, was a police officer on the other side of Jersey. But he still made the trip every morning to eat breakfast in her section of the small family diner where she worked.
They’d gotten married five years ago, and Rob was raising Dante’s niece, Chloe, like she was his own.
I loved fairy tales. Pity mine was more of a nightmare.
“So, Dante’s been filling me in a little, but he said the details were yours to share,” Serena started when we were sitting. “So share.”
When she wore that fierce face, she looked so much like her brother, that it was almost scary. “I trusted the wrong people,” I said quietly. “They betrayed me, when they should have had my back. They hurt Dante.”
I practically spat those last words, my anger rising again. Every time I started to miss those bastards, I just had to picture my best friend, bloodied and beaten with a gun to his head.
Serena didn’t look surprised, and some might have thought her lack of concern about Dante was cold, but I knew that she had accepted his dangerous life long ago. I, on the other hand, continued to try and convince him it was time to get out of the Grims. I never wanted to deal with losing him.
“Dante doesn’t seem that upset by it,” Serena said, ruffling her hair up. “He said they were just doing their duty.”
I let out a low grumbling sound. “I don’t fucking get him. He hated them last month, but now he’s almost … understanding and accepting of their bullshit. How could getting beaten and almost killed have taken him from hate to whatever he’s feeling now?”
Serena shrugged, but it was Dante that answered. “Because I understand them better now,” he said as he stepped in from the balcony. He’d been out there taking a phone call. “Beck took no joy in hurting me, and I too have been forced to do things I disagree with out of obligation. Sometimes life is about duty, and from what I can tell, your boys have had to perform for Delta most of their lives.”
I crossed my arms stubbornly. “There is always a choice.”
Dante shook his head at me. “You can’t afford to be that naive any longer. You don’t have the luxury.”
I knew he was trying to remind me that I shot a guy because I didn’t have a choice. But the truth was, I did have a choice. I could have turned the gun on Catherine, or Beck, or any of Delta. I could have turned the gun on myself and damned Dante as well. But I’d made the choice to shoot the Huntley operative. The same way the Delta heirs had made a choice to not tell me about what I was facing and to take my best friend as collateral in a war he was not part of.