I grit my teeth. “Well, good thing you can go take care of it.”
I don’t want to think about him with another woman, and the idea that he may leave here and go to some woman to satisfy himself makes me ill.
His hands tighten on my ankles. “Ally…”
“What?” I ask him, unable to hide my anger.
“You sound mad.”
I soften my voice, even though my hands are still formed into fists. “I’m not mad. I mean, there’s no reason one of us shouldn’t be scratching their itch. Live it up, Austin. Have fun.”
He trails his thumbs in circles over my ankles, and I’m doing my best to not let my body react. He starts to stroke his finger up and down. “Soooooo, you think that I’m going to what? Go out, find some random woman to take care of my hard cock?”
I gasp and lift my arm from my eyes so I can see him. I can’t believe he just said that. Austin and I are close, but he’s never talked to me about stuff like this. My surprise doesn’t stop him, though. He continues, “I mean, that doesn’t seem fair, right? You’re the reason I’m in this condition. You’re the reason that I’m about to come in my shorts… and you think I should go and let some other woman take care of it?”
I lift my foot to kick at his leg. “Funny, Austin. You know I didn’t cause that.”
He shifts in his seat and sits up a little higher. “Trust me, Ally. You’re the only reason I’m like this.”
He drops that bombshell, and all I can do is stare at him, open-mouthed, in shock. Is he being for real right now? How long have I wished for something more with Austin? Only more than half my life. After high school, I knew I had no hope. He had girlfriend after girlfriend, and there was no way I could compare. I gave up any hope of thinking there could be something between us. I accepted that we would never be anything more than friends. So why is he acting like this?
Chapter 8
Austin
“You’re just horny, Austin. You’ve been too busy trying to take care of your pregnant best friend instead of taking care of”—she points at my nether regions—“that. You need to go get laid.”
I stare at her, and I’m completely conflicted. I’ve always played it safe with her. Never have I ever allowed myself to flirt with her or say anything inappropriate, even though I’ve definitely had those thoughts. I shrug as I come to the conclusion that I’m done holding back. If I want Ally, I’m going to have to let her know I do. “I am horny. I haven’t had sex in a few years.”
It’s a bombshell for her. I know it is. She thinks I have some kind of active sex life, but the truth is, I don’t. She struggles on the couch, but I reach for her hand and pull her up as she practically shouts at me, “Do what? A few years? You’re lying.”
I fix her with a glare. “Right, because I always lie to you.”
She starts to stutter and shakes her head. “Shit, you’re serious.”
I know it’s more of a rhetorical question, but I still nod my head. “Yep. I’m serious.”
Her mouth is hanging open. “But why? It doesn’t make sense. Women throw themselves at you.”
I roll my eyes at her. “I don’t just sleep with anyone that shows interest in me.”
She nods. “I know that, but that still doesn’t explain how you haven’t had sex in… years.”
I lift one leg on the couch and turn to face her. She’s sitting the same way, and our legs are touching. “Are you sure you want to know?”
She looks at me worriedly for a second. “Oh my God, Austin.” She puts her hand to her mouth and whispers, “Do you have something?”
I rear back in surprise. “What? No, of course not. Geez, if you want to know it all, I’ve slept with three women, and I’ve wrapped it up every time.”
She pushes her hand against my chest. “Bullshit, Austin. There’s no way you’ve only slept with three women. We’re in our thirties.”
I take a deep breath and let it out. “The first was in college and uh, I was stupid. It meant nothing. The second one was—”
She cuts me off, holding up her hand with a disgusted look on her face. “I don’t want to hear about women you’ve slept with.”
I nod, understanding. Every time I think of her with the baby’s father, I want to punch something. “I get it. I don’t want to talk about men you’ve slept with.”
She nods and then tilts her head. “Okay, I have to ask. Why? Why haven’t you slept with a woman in so long?”
I rub my hand which is sweaty down the thighs of my shorts. “I’m not talking about this with you.”
She laughs. “Oh hell no, you can’t drop a bombshell like that and then not tell me the story. Why have you not—”
I don’t want to hear her say sex again because it puts all kinds of images in my head. “Because I can’t… you know…”
She curls her nose up. “You can’t…. What… get it up?” If that’s not bad enough, she points her finger out straight and then makes it limp.
I grab on to her hand. “Yeah, that about sums it up.”
She’s shaking her head before I even finish and starts to laugh. “But that’s not true… it works… I felt it. I mean, I felt it against my foot. You can definitely get hard.”
I don’t let go, but I do let our hands fall onto my leg between us. “You’re right, Ally. I can definitely get hard… with you.”
She points at herself as her eyes widen. “With me?”
I can’t help but laugh. Does she really not have any idea? “Yes, when I think of you, when I see you, when I touch you… I’m hard.”
She pulls away from my hand and tries to scoot back, but I grab on to her waist to hold her still. “Where do you think you’re going? You wanted to talk about this, and you’re right. It’s past time. I think we need to talk about this. It’s about time we got it out in the open, don’t you think?”
She sounds as if she’s about to burst into tears. “You’re lying to me, Austin.”
I deny it instantly. “I’m not lying to you.”
She crosses her arms over her ample chest. Her red hair is wild around her head, her lips are puckered, and her eyes are wet. “I don’t need you to feel sorry for me.”
“Feel sorry for you?” I burst out. “I don’t feel sorry for you. What are you talking about?”
She points at her belly and then waves it up and down her body. “So I’m supposed to believe that you’re attracted to all this?”
“Yes, because I am.”
She tilts her head to the side and searches my face. “Do you have some kind of pregnancy fetish or something? Because before this you never looked at me twice.”
“I couldn’t… I wouldn’t let myself.” I try to explain, but I know I’m not doing a good job of it.
She takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly. “I can’t do this right now. I’m not thinking right. I have all these stupid hormones going crazy inside me. I’m thinking things—wanting things—I shouldn’t be wanting. And you know what, you walking around here half naked is not helping matters. Forget it, Austin. We don’t need to do this. I’m not sure what we’re doing, but I don’t need you to fix all my problems for me.”