I cut him off. “I can take care of myself.”
I don’t know if it’s the stress of the day or what, but emotions hit me hard. I’m wiping at the tears on my face as fast as they fall. I’m sobbing, and Austin probably can’t even make out what I’m saying, but I can’t stop rambling. “Why does no one think I can take care of myself? I’m doing the best that I can. I know I need to do better, and I’m trying. I’m trying so hard, Austin, but it’s not good enough. I’m not good enough… hell, I can’t even keep my baby healthy… myself healthy—”
He pulls me into his lap and circles his arms around me. I don’t fight him, and I lay my head on his shoulder and let my body melt into his. He kisses the top of my head. “Fuck, please stop crying, Ally. I can handle anything but when you cry, you know that.”
But if anything, I cry harder. He’s rubbing my back with big strokes of his hands. “I’m sorry,” I sob.
He squeezes me tighter. “No. Don’t say that. You never have to apologize to me. Come on, Ally. We’re going to take this one day at a time. You’re my best friend in the whole world. You know me better than anyone, and you know that if I didn’t want to do something, I wouldn’t do it. I want to do this. I want to take care of you. I want to take care of our baby.”
“Girl,” I mutter. “I found out today I’m having a girl.”
He gasps. “A daughter? That’s amazing, baby. You’re going to be the best mom. And I’m going to probably end up in jail the first time some boy asks her out, but we’ll figure it out…. Are you happy, Ally?”
I shrug my shoulders and turn my head to bury my face in his neck. My hands grip at his waist, and I burrow into him. “Yeah, I’m happy, but I’m scared, Austin. I’m so scared.”
I can feel him take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m here for you, Ally. Always. You just have to let me in and let me be here for you.” He leans back on the couch but doesn’t let go of me. “Rest, baby. I know you’re tired. Let me hold you.”
I can’t resist him because for the first time in a long time, it’s nice to just let my troubles melt away and to have someone else bear the brunt of it all. I let my eyes close, and the last thing I remember thinking before I fall asleep is that I could get used to this.
Chapter 6
Austin
I lean back in my chair, and to my brothers, I probably look calm, cool, and collected. I’ve tried to stay alert through the whole meeting, even when Beau went on and on about spreadsheets, but the longer I sit here, the more antsy I get. I haven’t heard from Ally all morning, and as soon as this meeting is over, I’m going to hightail it out of here and check on her.
Last night, sleeping on the couch with her in my arms gave me just a glimpse of what our future could look like, and there’s no way I’m giving up on it now.
Lost in thought, I jerk when Ford calls my name. I look up, and all four of my brothers are staring at me expectantly. I lean forward and put my arms on the table in front of me. My leg is bouncing under the table, but otherwise, I try to appear calm. “Right, my turn. Sorry. Yeah, the distillery is going well. I’ve had my assistant stepping in to help some more, but the orders are all going well, and we’re on top of everything. I had to have a chute repaired yesterday so I ordered another one. We’ll install the new one and use the repaired one as a backup. Other than that, everything's good.”
Ford nods his head. “Okay, sounds good.”
I tap my fist on the top of the table twice, force a smile to my face, and get up. “So we good? Same time, next week?”
“Austin, what’s going on?” My brother Huddy asks. I look at him and my other brothers, and they all have worried looks on their faces. I can’t really blame them. I know I haven’t been the same lately, and they’ve given me some space to try and work things out, but I knew it wouldn’t last forever.
“Nothing’s going on. I’m sorry, I thought we were done, but if not, I’m good. What’s left to talk about?” I turn to my brother who's the CFO and loves to talk about data, ROI, and all that shit. “Beau, you got another spreadsheet you want to go over?”
Huddy barely holds back a laugh. “Look, you’re our baby bro. We’re just worried about you, that’s all.”
I hook my thumb toward Lucas. “He’s the baby of the family. Worry about him.”
Huddy leans toward me and clasps his hand on my shoulder. “Talk to us, Austin. What’s going on? How’s Ally?”
I shake my head and run my fingers across my temples. “Her blood pressure is high. Too high, and the doctors want her to rest, but of course she won’t. She promised she’d slow down, and she’s trying but…” I break off in frustration.
“But what?” Lucas asks.
I shake my head, knowing the irony of what I’m about to say. “She says she doesn’t have the money to take off from her job.”
“Fuck, Austin—”
I hold my hand up before Huddy can finish his thought. “Yes, I’ve tried to offer her money. I’ve tried to tell her not to worry about anything, but she’s so damn independent, she thinks she can do it all without help. I’m practically forcing her to depend on me, and I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to do or not, but I can’t just stand by and let her hurt herself or her baby.”
Huddy’s hand on my shoulder tightens, and my other brothers get out of their chairs and circle around the conference table to come toward me. Beau is the first to ask, “What can we do, Austin?”
I shrug, not knowing what to tell them. “I moved in with her.”
“At the trailer park?”
My eyes flare at Ford. “Don’t be a snob.”
He rolls his eyes. “I’m not. What can we do? There has to be something.”
“Nothing. There’s nothing anyone can do. It’s ultimately up to her to rest. It’s not like I can force her to quit her job or to sit down and prop her feet up.”
Lucas leans against the table. “I don’t understand. We all love Ally. Hell, she’s been a part of our family since you were in middle school. I know she’s your best friend, but she’s always been like a little sister to us. We can’t just stand by and do nothing.”
I throw my hands up in the air. “I know that.”
Ford crosses his arms over his chest. “I don’t understand. You love her.”
I don’t even attempt to deny it. I do love Ally and as more than just a friend.
And then Ford looks at me pointedly. “And she loves you, too.”
“She doesn’t love me.” I say it with force, but even I can hear the hope in my voice.
Ford plants his feet and tilts his head. “Okay, if you believe that, then what are you doing? You’ve told everyone that will listen that you’re marrying her and she’s having your baby. If you believe that, believe that she doesn’t love you, then what are you doing?”
I ram my hand through my hair and shake my head. “You don’t understand.”