But it was more than that. Being out on the mountain reminded me of my fondest memories. The ones before my life changed. The things before Caden had put a wall between us that I hadn’t been able to scale.
The door to the office opened, and I dropped my hand from Eddie’s mouth. I winced as a familiar figure stepped inside, holding a massive bouquet. I stared at the array of roses and lilies and knew I should have butterflies. Instead, I felt dread.
Jordan cleared his throat. “Hey, Rance.”
Rance nodded. “J.” He crossed to me, extending the flowers. “Saw your SUV pull in from the station. Wanted to bring these over.”
The fire station was next to the police station and within eyeshot of our little cottage. It wasn’t the first time I’d cursed the nearness with Lawson and Nash being able to keep an eye on me from the Cedar Ridge Police Department. I gave him a weak smile. “This really wasn’t necessary.”
I never should’ve said yes to the handful of dates with Rance. I’d never felt a spark. But we were casual friends, and he was a good guy, so I’d thought maybe the chemistry would grow. I’d been so wrong. I was always wrong. I’d never felt the buzz of awareness I experienced around Caden with anyone else. But the chemistry with Rance had been especially bad. Like kissing a dead fish bad.
He shrugged, giving me a lopsided smile. “I wanted to see if you could go to dinner tomorrow.”
My stomach churned. Why was he doing this in front of the people I worked with? I cast a quick look around the room. Noel was glaring daggers at him. Eddie looked like he wanted some popcorn while he took in every moment of the drama. And Jordan looked…worried.
I pushed to my feet, leaving the flowers on my desk. “Why don’t we go outside?” I started moving before Rance had a chance to argue.
I rounded the front of the building, and he came to a stop just a little too close. I took a step back. “I told you before; I think we’re better as friends.”
Rance sent me a sheepish smile. “I know, but you can’t get what you don’t fight for. And I think we could be good together, Grae. Just give me a shot.”
My thumbnail pressed into the pad of my forefinger. “I did, and I just didn’t feel that spark.”
A hint of frustration flashed in his expression. “Three dates isn’t a shot; it’s barely getting to know each other.”
I fought the urge to scream. “It’s enough for me to know. I’m sorry, Rance. I just don’t feel the same.”
I hurried back inside before he could argue more.
The screen door slapped behind me, and all three of my coworkers immediately looked as if they were extremely busy. They were horrible actors. Their nosy butts had probably been spying the whole time. I let out a growl of frustration as I headed back to my desk.
Eddie pressed his lips together to keep from laughing, but it only held for so long. His shoulders began to shake, his auburn hair ruffling with the action.
I sent a glare in his direction. “It’s not funny.”
Eddie leaned back in his chair, locking his hands behind his head. “It’s a little funny. He’s like a lost puppy just begging for a home.”
Noel kicked at his chair. “That shit isn’t cool. Grae said no. He needs to leave her be.”
The amusement fled Eddie’s face, and he glanced in my direction. “He freaking you out?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose to stave off the impending headache. The last thing I needed was to add three surrogate big brothers to the four I already had. “No, it’s just awkward. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I just don’t feel that way about him. I tried, but the chemistry isn’t there.”
It wasn’t there with anyone I wanted to find it with. It only flared to life with the last person on the planet it should have.
Jordan leaned against the wall, studying me carefully. “If he’s making you uncomfortable, I’ll kick him out the next time he stops by.”
“Damn straight,” Eddie agreed, casting a look across the street as Rance disappeared into the station. “He’s a chump anyway. Those teeth are so white they probably glow in the dark.”
Noel snorted at that. “The amount of gel in his hair could probably shellac my boat.”
“You guys are mean. He’s handsome, and he’s kind,” I argued.
Eddie’s lips twitched. “Then why aren’t you going to dinner with him?”
That was the million-dollar question.
The parking lot at the local high school was half-full of familiar vehicles. Not many places were large enough for our entire SAR team to meet, but the high school gymnasium was one of them.
I climbed out of my SUV, my body protesting the movement. Today’s longer-than-expected hike had done a number on me. As if to punctuate the point, my phone beeped with an alert—my glucose monitoring app letting me know that I was trending upward. I shoved it into my pocket and snagged a granola bar from my cupholder, biting off a piece.
Grabbing my bag from the back seat, I slung it over my shoulder and headed toward the gymnasium. My steps faltered as I caught sight of the familiar Mercedes G-Wagon. My back teeth ground together as a flare of pissed-off annoyance surged to life.
He just had to come back here.
Life had been a million times easier when Caden was running one of his family’s hotels in New York. I only saw him when I caved to temptation and searched his name. The photos of him with models, socialites, or whatever the flavor of the week was, hurt like hell. But at least I didn’t have to see it in person.
Now that he was back and working at his family’s fancy resort nestled in the mountains, I had to deal with Caden. But he couldn’t leave it at that. No, he had to infiltrate every area of my life. SAR. My friend group. My family dinners.
I wrenched open the door and stepped into the gym.
Nash let out a low whistle. “Who pissed in your Cheerios?”
I glared at him. “No one.”
He chuckled. “That was real convincing.”
His fiancée, Maddie, moved closer, worry creasing her brow. “You okay?”
That was Maddie, through and through. Always wanting to make sure everyone she cared about was all right. Between her and our other friend, Wren, I had an embarrassment of riches when it came to the women in my life. And they’d both be sisters before long.
I pulled Maddie into a hug. “I’m fine. Just exhausted. Long day.”
Holt walked up then, frowning. “Are you okay? You don’t have to stay. Did you have dinner?”
I fought the urge to scream and instead took one of those deep, cleansing breaths that helped keep me from murdering the people I loved. “I said I’m fine. Just tired.”
He stared down at me as if he didn’t believe me. “You let me know if that changes.”
I made a humming noise that wasn’t agreement or disagreement.
“That’s Gigi-speak for go screw yourself.”
That low voice that sounded like it was coated in sandpaper had goosebumps taking flight on my arms. I hated that it had that kind of effect on me. Hated that he somehow still knew me so well.
I straightened my spine, glancing up at Caden Shaw. I would’ve thought I’d be accustomed to his beauty by now. Those hazel eyes that punched right through you, the jawline covered in stubble that I itched to feel against my palm, the broad shoulders capable of carrying the weight of the world.