A murmur works through the room. I can see some disagreeing already, while others seem to be agreeing with the sentiment. Those are the men I need to reach.
“I propose that women aren’t the enemy. Instead, the enemy lies within us. Look around the internet, on social media, or even in the darker corners to individuals who exploit and manipulate vulnerable young men. They preach divisive, hateful, toxic messages. You know the buzzwords because some of them have worked their way into our everyday speech. Alpha, Sigma, Beta . . . listening to these people, you’d think we were all part of some giant fraternity fest. But the majority of these hatemongers are in it for profit. Some of them—”
“Like Jake McGibbons!” someone in the crowd shouts, interrupting me and causing laughs and snickers all around the room.
I frown at the name. Jake McGibbons is a popular, so-called men’s advocate who gives advice to young men. That’s not so bad in itself. In effect, it’s what I do too.
And on the surface, some of his ‘advice’ is legit. Push yourself to be the best you can be. Invest in your future. Exercise.
But it’s the toxic foundation of his messaging that’s the problem. With his aggressive delivery and superficial presentation, he makes sense to a fragile, insecure young mind who desperately wants control over not only his own life, but to be ‘over’ others, catering to his followers’ desires to be superior.
All hope isn’t lost, though.
It’s one of the reasons I do what I do, creating and running the Gentlemen’s Club as an alternative to people like Jake McGibbons. I want to fight against these dangerous narratives and help young men see their true potential rather than falling for seductive messaging that places the blame solely on others, causing resentment and hatred to fester.
There’s another way to success, and I want to help these young men discover it.
“Yes, like Jake McGibbons,” I answer. Trying to return to my planned speech, I continue, “Creating a hierarchy within our own ranks defeats us all. Only by being our best selves, and helping our brother be his best self, can we all succeed. That’s what the Gentlemen’s Club is about.”
I let that sink in for a moment, hoping they hear the difference in approach between me and assholes like McGibbons who talk about masculinity like it’s something you earn at the gym or by degrading women.
“Not too long ago, I was like many of you—a young man with big dreams, held down by responsibilities. Admittedly, they might not be the same ones many of you face. I was lucky enough to not worry about tuition payments or where my next meal would come from. But my last name carries a weight many of you might recognize or perhaps even feel from your own families. For me, that generational march was more like a militant drumbeat. My grandfather started from nothing, my father grew the family business into a household name, and my older brothers are part of that tradition. It was assumed that I’d step right in line too. Obviously, I didn’t.”
I hold my hands out, showing that I’m here with them and not at my family’s headquarters. That’s no small feat, either. When I finished school and told Dad that my plans were different from his, he lost his mind, to put it mildly. There was yelling about expectations, threats of leaving me to fend off the wolves alone, and eventually, disappointment when I held steady. My two older brothers, Cameron and Carter, even got into the argument, pressuring me to join them in the family business. But I couldn’t see myself playing third fiddle to them, especially when they’re already at war with each other too often.
I wanted no part of it.
“But I didn’t know who or what I wanted to become at first,” I continue “Other than not my dad’s carbon copy. So I kept my head down and my nose in a book until it hit me.
“The guys around me had become disillusioned with society and often complained about how things weren’t going their way, whether it be grades, women, or job prospects. But these same men stayed up half the night, stumbling into class late, reeking of body odor, old beer, and unwashed T-shirts every Monday morning. And still, they would lay the blame elsewhere. They wanted life handed to them on a silver platter even though they didn’t do anything to earn it and were, in fact, actively sabotaging themselves.”
There’s a bit of uncomfortable shifting from more than a few guys. Being called out isn’t easy, but recognizing that your minimal effort begets minimal results is the first step to being better.
“They were their own worst enemy. Using them as an example, I did a bit of self-reflection of my own and came up with a plan. Even wrote it on my bathroom mirror." I hold up a finger for each item to highlight them. "Get off the couch. Get your act together. Sleep. Study. Shower. Brush your teeth. The basics.” I point at the audience. “And then the hard work starts. Once those things were routine, I could focus on being a better person, effecting positive change around me, and—"
“Do you really expect us to believe that bullshit?” a deep voice bellows.
I squint through the spotlight, shading my eyes and scanning the crowd until I spot who’s spoken.
Lucas Walker.
He’s a newbie, still considering joining the Gentlemen’s Club, and exactly the type of man I want to reach. He’s got one foot in the door here but has Jake McGibbons-type rhetoric still whispering in his ear.
Right now, he’s standing up, his arms crossed over his chest, glaring at me in challenge. If this were a battle of physicality, he’d win, biceps down. He’s built like a defensive end. But it’s not.
Contrary to popular belief, men have evolved beyond fist fights and bar brawls for the most part. Or at least I have, and I have no interest in beating reason into Lucas’s mind. That doesn’t work, anyway.
Meeting his glare head-on, I address the interruption. “What ‘bullshit’ would that be, Lucas?”
He gestures toward me while half turning to address the room, grinning goofily at his peers as if he’s saying what they all think too. “That you got here by doing ‘the basics’,” he mocks, adding in air quotes as if his tone didn’t make that clear already. “You expect us to believe that your family money didn’t open every door, get you a fancy as fuck car, and make hot chicks drop to their knees and beg to suck your dick? How stupid do you think we are?”
I groan inwardly as the room erupts into snickers and chatter. It’s not the first time I’ve been accused of keeping a squeaky-clean façade while being an entitled asshole behind closed doors. I think people have come to expect that from people with money. It doesn’t help that I’m single, don’t publicly date, and have strict boundaries about discussing my private life.
But Lucas is wrong. This isn’t an act. I simply have high standards and hold myself to them stringently.
“Lucas, if that’s your definition of success, then you should leave now,” I say flatly, calling his bluff. “But I don’t think it is, nor do I think it should be,” I add quickly.
“And as I’ve said countless times before” —I glance around the room, knowing there are those who’ll back me up— “I’m here to help. I don’t do this for amusement or some weird sense of hero worship. I believe in you, believe you can be better . . . if you choose to be. If you work to be. And then, you can redefine success for yourself however you’d like to.”