I shift in my seat uncomfortably, mostly because it’s been the one thing circling in my head this entire time, and the guilt might just eat me alive.
Sawyer, ever the unpredictable sass-master, shrugs and snaps, “If she’s evil, then I guess she’ll be dealt with. I’ll also need to hand myself in for being the most gullible and blind dickhead in the entire Gifted Community for not seeing it, so you’ll lose us both in one fell swoop. Oli, make sure you take care of Gray for me.”
Gray shoots Sawyer a dry look, like he’s a little insulted, but Sawyer just grins back at him. It’s not a proper grin, a little tense around the edges and it definitely doesn’t reach his eyes, but I can appreciate his effort to fake it until we get out of this mess.
I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly. “Okay, so we just need to convince North and Gryphon that moving in on Riley and Giovanna is the only priority moving forward so that it happens right now, at the latest. That can’t be that impossible, right?”
Gabe grimaces next to me, pulling a face, and Sawyer smirks at me. “What do you mean ‘we’?”
And that’s how I find myself heading back over to North’s office.
It's not the easiest thing to do, but I managed to convince Atlas and Gabe to let me walk over there by myself. I'm sure they only do it because Atlas is in my head the entire time talking to me and joking with me. Plus, with Brutus and August padding along silently next to me, there's not really much they can say about my level of protection.
No one would ever attempt to approach the shadows, especially not immediately after the carnage they’d just wrought all around us. Even knowing they’d done it to defend us and drive out the Resistance from the Sanctuary, I’m sure the other Gifted are practically shitting themselves over my precious babies as we walk the streets together.
The offices are only a few hundred yards away, but the walk over is good to clear my head a little from the conversation with Sawyer and Gray. The streets are still bustling with people clearing away the debris or heading to the dining hall for something to eat. It’s good to see that they’re all resilient enough to get on with life once they’ve been given the all clear. I try to memorize the faces around me, to remember the people who have a backbone around here, but there’s too many.
I smile softly to myself and take a second to pause, tipping my head back and letting the warmth of the sun overhead soak into my skin. There’s a tiny whisper of a breeze that flutters my hair just a little, but it barely touches against the bright rays falling over my face and neck.
I take a deep breath, then another one for good luck.
Everything feels like a mess and completely overwhelming, but there's also a part of me deep down inside that relishes the opportunity to finally do something in this fight.
Being stuck on the sidelines, coddled and protected as though I am some precious, breakable possession of my Bonds, has been incredibly frustrating. Especially with my own bond whispering dark and blood-soaked plans at every opportunity. I already know I'm the greatest weapon that our side has.
Now I just need to convince North and Gryphon of that.
Brutus butts his head against the back of my legs in a play for attention, so I crouch down a little to scratch him behind his ears. August had come to a heel a step in front of me when I’d stopped, always putting himself between me and any potential threats. Both of his ears are standing straight up at sharp points and as he looks around, I’m struck with the thought that it's not often that I'm reminded that they aren't actually puppies but that they are shadows made from my own Bonds. The stillness in him is an echo of the deadly calm in North.
It’s eerie and comforting at the same time.
You should hurry up and get to the office, Atlas sends directly to me, and before I can answer him, mostly with snark and attitude, North's words trickle into my mind.
I can see her from where I am, Bassinger. She's perfectly safe, for now. If she needs a minute alone, then now is the best time for it.
I duck my head to hide my grin, burying my nose into Brutus’ soft fur and taking one last deep breath, and then get back to walking down the rest of the path to the offices.
Everyone I come across gives me a wide berth as I pass them, not at all surprising, with a few mumbles and glances of fear. But there's a lot more smiles and quiet acknowledgments than there were before, mostly from the Lower Tier families and, God, do I hate the way that sounds even more now.
They were all far more competent in the fighting than the Upper families. Gabe had told me about the people he’d helped hide in the school, about the Shields who had worked together to offer their families and community what protection they could… I will never have respect for the others who just cowered and ran, all while holding ten times more power than the others who chose to stay.
Never.
I smile and wave back to them all trying to look docile and not at all like the killing machine that they've all just witnessed me being, but I don't attempt to approach any of them or stop to have a chat. I don't want to push it. And honestly, I need to get this conversation with North and Gryphon out of the way.
I don't think it is going to go well.
There are three TacTeam personnel standing guard at the office doors, but none of them attempt to stop me or speak to me as I walk past them with the shadow pups. Again, not surprising, and I’m sure if North had spotted me out of his window or on some big security camera of his, then he’d have warned them of my arrival.
Actually, I’m sure Gabe called ahead.
I stupidly left my key pass behind at the house, but one of the personnel is nice enough to swipe his to get me into the elevator up to North's office. When I thank him with a smile, he gives me a curt nod back, one hand resting over the butt of his gun subconsciously as though even knowing we're both on the same side he can't help but reach for it in comfort. I won't hold it against him.
It seems strange to me that the elevator has music. Such a normal and boring thing to have while the world around us burns.
“That’s a little dramatic, Bonded. There’s barely any scorch marks out there,” Gryphon drawls as the elevator doors open, his hands reaching in to grab a hold of me and drag me out into his arms. It feels a little desperate, a little bit too eager for my calm and sure TacTeam Bonded, but I accept it without a word.
It’s been a shit day.
“If you haven’t already figured out that I’m a little dramatic in the supposed privacy of my own head, then that sounds like a you problem,” I grumble under my breath, but my arms are just as tight around him as his are around me.
I take a moment to let myself soak up some of his strength, leaning on the solid weight of him as he just lets me melt into him without a word of complaint. He’s been my safe place since he showed up at my shitty dorm room and manhandled me into the bed to take away my horrible period pains, even when I couldn’t accept it or admit to it.
I need him desperately.
It's also as though seeing the images of Sage’s supposed betrayal and all of the bullshit that had come after that fucked-up moment has sapped the last of my energy away from me.
It's a strange feeling, because the entire time my bond was in control and using so much of my gift, I didn't feel as though I was using up my gift or running out of power. I never feel as though my gift is going to run out. But usually, when my bond slips away and I find myself back in control, I have no energy left, as though I have run an ultra-marathon.