I can’t look at Sage right now.
I’ll either break down or start screaming.
Nox takes another step into the center of the room, the smoke thickening until my eyes have to shift to see clearly through it. He answers Kieran, “I just said he’s on his way and that none of you are going anywhere. If I had things my way, you’d all be locked up until Gryph can sift through every little second of your lives and find out whether it’s just Benson, or if you’re all in on this. I thought more of you than this, Black, but nothing here will really surprise me. Not even you betraying us all—”
Sage makes a noise like she’s struggling for air, but it’s more of an outraged sort of thing, and I still can’t force myself to look her way yet.
Kieran makes his own sound of outrage and strains against the ropes of smoke, even though they don’t budge. “Betraying you? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Just because you have your own little bullshit mission here, trying to psych out your Bond because you’re absolutely fucked—”
Oh, I don’t like that.
Neither does my bond, waking up finally to the absolute mess we’re in, but when I poke at it, expecting a whispered threat or something, it’s silent. Wary and watchful, but silent.
I mean, I know that we have our problems, a whole fucking pile of problems. But they’re our problems to deal with. Someday. Maybe.
They’re not up for public discussion.
Atlas’ voice is sharp as it cuts through the haze and through Kieran’s tirade. “She murdered our Shield. Sawyer just showed the evidence of it to North and Gryphon. This isn’t some inside job, Black. This is us keeping everyone in the Sanctuary safe, not just our friends and family. If her brother was the one to start this, then there’s absolutely nothing you can say to Draven about this being a witch hunt. Besides, look at what this is doing to Oli… If you believe nothing else, do you think I’d be standing here and letting him do this to her if I hadn’t just seen Sage murder that woman myself?”
There’s a stunned sort of silence, and then I startle at the booming sounds of doors being slammed open and dozens of sets of boots stomping through the medical center, signaling that the cavalry has finally arrived. I take my first real, deep breath and then another one.
Still, Sage doesn’t try to defend herself or speak a word.
Is she just too scared to try? Does she know that Gryphon is listening through me, his gift flooding me and watching everything that’s happening here and waiting for a sign that maybe she is a willing participant in… all of this?
Or is she waiting for me, her best friend and most loyal confidant, to defend her and get her the hell out of this mess like I always have?
I want to be sick.
North and Gryphon step into the room, a group of Tac personnel behind them, and I move over to them instinctively, seeking out my Bonded to get me through this cluster-fuck of a situation. North catches my face in his hands and tilts my head back until he’s staring into the black voids of my eyes. Whatever he sees there, he doesn’t like, and his mouth hardens even more.
He leans forward just a little, his brother’s smoke still obscuring us both from everyone else’s view as he murmurs to me quietly, “Go home and get some rest. I’ll take care of this. Stay with Atlas and Gabe and just leave it to me to handle, Bonded.”
“Oli?” Sage says, her voice trembling a little. Even though it hurts me, I finally look up at her and, thanks to my void-like eyes, I can see her clear as day.
She looks terrified.
The words tumble out of me as I scramble out of the door, “I’ll be back, Sage. Just… just answer all of their questions. We’ll figure it out.”
It only occurs to me as Gabe and Atlas each flank either side of me that Nox had put himself between the other Bond Group and I.
As we step out together in the afternoon sun, I feel the flutters of anxiety deep in my stomach. The destruction from the Resistance soldiers is everywhere around us. Cars are overturned, craters are in the once freshly paved roads, and debris littering the ground everywhere.
I try not to get upset looking at everything that North and his family have worked so hard for us all to have that’s now been destroyed for nothing but the Resistance’s whims and sadistic games. It’s all so fucking pointless, and the ripples of irritation tug at my bond in my chest that has gone back into its dormant and resting state, as though I actually want the cantankerous bitch to wake up.
I still can’t figure out why it’s sleeping.
Atlas wraps an arm around my shoulders to tuck me into his side closely while Gabe takes my other hand.
“Everything is going to be okay, Sweetness,” Atlas murmurs into my hair as we start off, but I don’t have anything to say back to that.
I know that we’re going to survive it. I know that North and Gryphon are going to go into full damage control mode and fix the leaks that caused today to happen. But as I blink away tears, I can’t help but feel as though things are not going to be okay.
Sage was the person who kept me going here when everyone hated me. She’d loved me and accepted me from the moment we’d sat together in the dining hall, without question. Our mutual ‘outsider’ labels and social shunning had been the draw, but it was the sassy and strong heart of her that won me over.
If I lose her, I won’t be okay.
The panicked flutter in my chest starts up again, stealing my breath. It’s as though we’re once again moments away from our Bond Group being torn apart. The little bit of peace I’ve found here in the Sanctuary is gone with one swipe from the Resistance. They’ve just taken a swing at us and, through Sage, I have taken a direct hit.
She’s my best goddamn friend, and if she’s been a spy this whole time… I can’t even process that. I don’t even want to try.
I can't find the words to say this to either of them though, not without causing them both to go on some sort of killing spree in my honor. I swallow roughly around the lump in my throat and duck my head in an attempt to block out the carnage as we make our way over to the house.
All I want is a hot shower and a bed to hide in for the rest of the day, any bed really, I’m not fussy. We fall into an uncomfortable silence, but it's clear they can both tell I'm upset. Gabe’s hand is tense in mine, and Atlas continues to pull me closer into his body as we walk, as though he will somehow be able to absorb all of my worries and fears if he can get close enough. I can't find the words to comfort either of them.
When we make our way past North’s offices and the dining hall, Gabe squeezes my hand gently before pulling us all to a stop. I keep my eyes down and he squeezes my hand again to get my attention.
“Look around, Bond. Everything really is going to be okay here.”
I glance up and look in the direction that he's pointing to find a long line of TacTeam operatives and civilians surrounding the front steps of the dining hall.
Everyone is helping out to move away the debris and rubble that is blocking the path and the doors, while the chef and kitchen staff are standing out front with trestle tables, all of them covered with enough food to feed an army.
There's a group of children standing around laughing and giggling with disposable containers of something hot and delicious looking in their hands, munching away on crusty bread and chatting amongst themselves.