“That’s a first. Never thought someone would be envying me.”
“The man, the kids, that's the life. Who wouldn’t want that?”
I hoped I wasn’t biting off more than I could chew with this pact, that I wasn’t about to make some terrible mistake by rushing to settle.
But I’ve played it too safe for too long.
It’s time to take some risks.
2
CAMERON
I crack open a beer and lean back in my recliner. Splayed out on my sofa next to me is my little brother Jonas, his beer resting on his belly.
Both of our eyes are glowing, reflecting off the TV screen currently airing the big game. The Seahawks are disappointing us again. At this point I’m going to change my allegiance to the Chargers, just so I can have a team that wins a game for a change.
It’s quiet between us, the sound of the commentators going over the plays the only thing entering my ears. It’s quiet, and it’s boring.
What am I doing with my life?
The can’s empty. I crumple it up and pitch it toward the bin. It bounces off the side.
“Damn. Something the matter?”
“Why would you ask?”
“You never miss your shots, Cam. Plus you’ve been stone silent since I showed up. We ate pizza and wings in silence. I haven’t gotten a murmur out of you outside affirmative grunts and nods.”
“Isn’t that how we usually communicate?”
“You usually ask me how my week’s been and we shoot the shit, if only for a little bit.”
I grumble, wishing I had more beer to use as an excuse to avoid talking.
“What’s eating you, man?”
“Boredom. I’m so fucking bored, Jonas.”
“Man, the Seahawks aren’t doing that bad.”
“It has nothing to do with the Seahawks, but their piss-poor performance isn’t helping things.”
“How can you be bored, man? You’re living the life. You head out to Seattle every week and go to the pricey clubs. You come home with a new woman every week. You pull six, maybe seven digits each year. I’d kill to be in your spot. Plus, you own your own company and can work from anywhere in the world.”
Jonas does construction work. He’s not hurting for money, but it does have a toll on his body. The guy is a walking ache sometimes. I run an online business, so while my eyes get tired from the computer screen, it is a very different life than Jonas leads.
“And then you go out with a yacht club on Saturdays and do all that rich-people stuff. You got a hobby, man. I can’t believe you’re bored.”
“Do you even know what happens on those yachts, Jonas?”
“You sip champagne and complain about the little people?”
“Some of the club members do. Most of them are rich old men who have no idea what the real world is actually like. Didn’t get married until they were fifty, and then they married some eighteen-year-old girl who is nothing to them but a set of holes and some sort of vessel for their progeny.”
“Well yeah, you’re single. And you can attract a girl with way more than just your money.”
I stretch out in my chair. “I want more than a one-night stand, I think. I’m sick of one-night stands.”
Jonas sits up and looks at me with wide, confused eyes. “Say that again?”
“I’m sick of one-night stands?”
“Yeah, I’m hearing those words but I’m not comprehending them. I see some of the fine babes that walk out of your house, Cam. You’ve got your pick of the litter and are living the dream of every red-blooded heterosexual man.”
“There’s more to a man than the number of notches in his bedpost.”
“I mean, yeah, but when the notches are as fine as the ones you make, I’d think you’d be pretty fulfilled.”
I stare at the ceiling for a while. “I’m ready to settle down, man.”
“Really? You’re looking for something more permanent? You want to throw away this wonderful single life and just be a husband?”
“There isn’t anything wrong with loving just one woman. Sounds lovely if you ask me.”
“Dude, you’re still young. You’re not even thirty yet. There’s plenty of time to find a wife and have your two-point-five kids. I think if you rush into getting the ball and chain attached, you’re going to regret it. Plus, you know, most girls are only going to want one thing from you.” He grins. “And it’s disgusting.”
“My love and companionship?”
“Your money. Can’t trust a lot of women. Once they hear about your wealth, they’re going to want you to pop the question, no prenup, hoping if it goes south they get half of it and they’ll be set for life.”
I shake my head. “Not every woman is a money-grubbing succubus, Jonas. I can’t believe you even think that.”
He shakes his head right back. “It’s not that I think every woman is like that. It’s that I think every woman who wants you for more than a night of fun will be like that.”
“Yet you’re telling me I’m attractive enough to get a woman without my money.”
“Yeah, that’ll get them in the door, but they’ll never want to leave once they see your bank account.”
“I guess I’m less jaded than you are, Jonas. I know what I want out of life and I think it’s time I move towards it. I don’t want to be one of those old men who doesn’t start his family until he qualifies for retirement benefits."
“I don’t know, man. It seems like you’re throwing away a lot for this.”
“I have a great career, Jonas. I’m set for life. And I’ve always been a romantic at heart. I’m ready for the next step in my life. To find a wife. To start a family. And to start providing for the future. I just need to find the right woman to get the ball rolling.”
“Man, I just think you’re looking for trouble. Usually when someone hits their mid-life crisis, they start sleeping around and being reckless. You’re gonna have a quarter-life crisis by going out and being all responsible and normal and shit? It’s just weird.”
“Wanting a family and kids is weird now?”
“For you? Yeah it is. I don’t know, man. I just don’t want you to wind up racking up divroces down the line.”
“I guess I just have more faith than you, Jonas. Love isn’t impossible. It’s happened billions of times before or else we wouldn’t be here, would we?”
“Got a point there, I guess.” He sits up, and then pushes himself to his feet. “Want a refresher on your booze? Maybe If you get drunk enough you’ll gain a sense of clarity and reconsider all this.”
“Alcohol doesn’t work like that. But sure. Get me another tall boy.”
“It sure doesn't, but hey, you’re paying. Least I can do is be your butler.”
“Then shut it and get my beer, Reginald.” I clap my hands. “Chop, chop.”
“At once, monsieur.”
Jonas has the right to be jealous. I’m pretty lucky to be where I am. But even the luckiest of us have dreams for more than what we have.