“Come on, push, Karen,” Melanie encouraged, her heart pounding with adrenaline as she allowed her best friend, Karen, to squeeze the feeling out of her hand. Oh God, I hope I remember everything from the birthing coach lessons! Melanie was such a planner and had studied birthing techniques with Karen, memorizing all the coaching information she could get her hands on. But now, it seemed as though all her lessons were thrown out the window with each of Karen’s grunts. I know how to teach science to teenagers… not how to birth a baby!
As soon as Karen fell back against the pillows on the hospital bed, Melanie grabbed a washcloth and dabbed her friend’s sweat-dripping forehead. “You’ve got this, honey. You’re doing great.”
The last months had seen a multitude of changes in their lives, but they’d weathered it all with their friendship intact.
Within a few weeks of Karen telling her that she was pregnant, Melanie helped gather a few friends, and they moved Karen into Melanie’s townhouse. While she originally had not wanted a roommate, sharing it with her best friend in need was different. It only had two bedrooms, but she gave Karen the larger of the two, knowing that a crib would also have to go in there eventually. Karen tried to protest, but once Melanie made up her mind, there was no changing it.
Karen’s job working for a major real estate company had proven to be perfect. Her work hours were regular, and the health insurance was excellent. Plus, the office was located just down the street from a hospital, making doctor’s appointments easy to schedule.
Melanie’s parents had always considered Karen to be like a daughter and supported Karen’s decision to be a single mom. They’d even bought the nursery furniture. Melanie knew it was bittersweet for Karen, thrilled to be around people who were excited about the baby’s coming while her own parents did nothing.
“Augh!”
Her attention jerked back to Karen, who bent forward with a grimace on her face and her body straining in childbirth. Melanie had gone to the birthing classes with Karen, but fear was starting to creep in with her friend in the full throes of labor. As she helped support Karen’s back, her eyes were riveted onto the doctor tucked away on a stool between Karen’s knees. A flash moved through her mind of how undignified childbirth was, but she kept that thought to herself.
“You’re amazing, Karen. You’ve got this.”
When the doctor called for another push, Karen screamed out, following the doctor’s every direction. Suddenly the activity down below seemed different, and Melanie looked into the mirror that had been set up and watched as the baby’s head crowned. Oh God… it didn’t look like this on the video I’d watched! Melanie had wanted what her parents had—a good marriage and one day children. But now, staring at the mirror, she wasn’t so sure about the children.
Soon, the doctor assisted the baby out of Karen’s laboring body. Karen had decided she didn’t want to know the sex, and Melanie supported anything Karen wanted.
As the baby slipped out, the doctor called, “It’s a girl!”
Melanie gasped in awe, and Karen burst into tears. “Is she okay? Is she okay?” Karen begged, her eyes wide as the nurses were checking her out.
The little one let out a wail, and the doctor looked up, grinning. “She looks perfect.”
Melanie looked down at Karen’s exhausted expression and grinned widely. “Do you hear that? She’s perfect! Just like her mama, she’s perfect!”
A few minutes later, the baby was placed on Karen’s chest, skin to skin. The moment was beautiful, but Melanie stepped back slightly. As much as she was a part of their lives, she wanted this moment of bonding to be between Karen and her daughter. And she no longer wondered about having children of her own. If I can have that expression on my face, the birth process is worth it.
After several minutes, Karen seemed to realize that Melanie wasn’t right with her. Across the room, she called out, “Come see your niece!”
While Melanie wasn’t related by blood, Karen had already declared that she would be her baby’s aunt, and Melanie wasn’t about to argue with that decision. Stepping closer, she leaned forward to kiss Karen’s forehead, resting her hand on the baby’s back.
“I’m going to name her Suzette. What do you think of that?”
Tears welled in Melanie’s eyes and slid down her cheeks, overwhelmed by the moment. “I think it’s perfect.”
Melanie had agreed with Karen on just about all her decisions. Well, almost everything. Karen made it to full-term, but she’d never tried to contact the father from Baytown to tell him she was pregnant. It was the only thing she and Karen had argued about. But as time went on and the pregnancy progressed, Karen wouldn’t relent.
Now, looking down at the beautiful baby, with the perfect scrunched-up nose and tiny little fingers, she wondered about the man who didn’t even know his daughter existed. And hated that he didn’t have the choice to be here or, if he chose, to miss the moment.
4
TWO MONTHS LATER
Melanie stood outside the hospital room, staring through the door. An ache like none she’d ever felt before in her life made it almost impossible for her to remain standing. Karen lay in the bed, her head shaved, and tubes and wires coming out of her body connected to machines that beeped and clicked and whizzed and whirred. Karen was so pale, and her eyes closed, seeming to sink into her face.
Melanie’s parents walked up behind her. She looked down at Suzette swaddled in her arms. Nuzzling the sweet baby and inhaling her scent, she gently handed her over to her mom.
How are you holding up, sweetheart?” her dad asked. She turned and faced him, terrified to speak. Then her gaze dropped to Suzette, and her heart squeezed once again.
After Karen gave birth to Suzette, they’d settled into their new routine. Karen was the quintessential new mom, both nervous and perfect all at the same time. And Melanie relished the role of favored aunt. They’ve been amazed at how much poop could fill a diaper, how much spit-up a tiny baby could project, and how Suzette managed to pee just as soon as they’d changed her. They laughed at her adorable face and loved the clothes they dressed her in. And Melanie cataloged it all by taking a thousand pictures. For a month, everything was perfect. And then everything changed.
Melanie had been at school in the middle of teaching a high school class when she received a call to hurry home. As soon as she got there, she found Karen lying on the floor, still cuddling Suzette as she protected her with a mother’s instinct. Rushing over, Karen managed to gasp that her head hurt so bad, she thought she might need to go to the hospital. When Melanie tried to get her to stand, Karen’s legs gave out from under her. Fear threatened to choke her, but rallying, she dialed 911. Her voice remained steady when on the call with the EMTs but shook with adrenaline when she called her mom to come help with Suzette while she went to the hospital with Karen.
Tests, images, surgery, biopsy, and diagnoses all led to despair. A malignant brain tumor that was growing so fast, the doctors only gave Karen a few weeks to live.
Melanie railed against the news, but with a baby to care for, she was thrown into a situation she couldn’t have ever imagined. No matter what Karen was going through, Suzette still needed to be fed, changed, held, rocked, played with, and loved.