“And Tillie?” I ask Coen.
“She wanted to come but had to get back to Coudersport. She’s running a local art show.”
Well, that answers that. Apparently, it’s open to wives and girlfriends. I notice Brienne here but not Drake, although he’s probably spending time with his boys.
It’s more than just players who were lost on the plane. I see Boyd Frazer—his wife Jessie was one of our trainers. He’s local to Pittsburgh, and I haven’t seen him in a while.
There are a handful of widows here. Maggie Pearsall, who was married to Cory, one of our defensemen. She’s still in the area because she’s local to Pittsburgh as well.
Kateryna Kozar, married to our first-line center, Maksym, is here, both of them from Ukraine. I’ve seen Kateryna around at some of the postgame parties and knew she’d stayed in Pittsburgh on a work visa with their two daughters.
And Danica Brandt, married to our second-line left-winger, Mitch. It was announced at the Titans’ Christmas party that she’d be running a new charity Brienne created and named after her brother called the Adam Norcross Charitable Foundation. It’s a fascinating concept and one I’d not thought of before. Its main goal will be to aid dependents of professional athletes and support staff who have either died or become incapacitated and can’t play anymore. It’s not only for hockey, and it’s not just for the United States but a global foundation, and Danica will be running it.
I was happy to hear this and it was good to catch up with her at the Christmas party week before last. Obviously, I know some of the loved ones better than others, but Danica I know well. Mitch and I played on the same line, so we hung out a lot more than some of the other players. Through the years playing together, I’ve been to dinners at their house, met their parents and other family members who visited and once went with him to visit Travis’s first grade class to read storybooks to the kids.
I’ve kept in loose contact with Danica. She still comes to some of the games, after-parties and team functions as Brienne makes sure to invite all the former team family members. At first, Danica didn’t come as I imagine she was lost to her grief. But this season, I’ve seen her a handful of times and it’s been nice to see her smiles getting bigger as time moves on.
Watching Danica now, I don’t know exactly how the past year has been for her. I’m somewhat surprised she stayed in the area since it’s just her and Travis. I know all her family—and Mitch’s, for that matter—are in Massachusetts.
Of course, I never bothered to ask specifically her reasons for not returning home. Our talks have been short, some just in passing at events, but she seems to be doing well as far as I can tell.
Same as me.
“Dude.” A hand clamps down on my shoulder and I turn to see Stone. “Coach said you were coming. Glad you’re here.”
He’s clearly surprised by my presence. It’s been ten and a half months since the crash and I’ve never been to one of these nor have I talked to Stone about the crash other than to extend my condolences about his brother.
“Coach sort of mandated it,” I say.
Stone’s hand falls away and he nods. “Because you missed practice yesterday.”
I shrug as I glance at Coen and Hendrix, who stare back at me with no judgment and apparent understanding. But how can they comprehend anything when I don’t even know what’s happening to me?
“Look,” he says, drawing my attention. “You know all these people. No one’s a stranger. Nothing to fear. Go hang out and enjoy yourself.”
“Fine,” I say with a pointed stare, a half-smile on my face so he knows I’m teasing. “But if anyone asks me to share or get touchy-feely, I’m out of here.”
Stone tips his head back and laughs. “It’s not like that, my man. And there’s not a person in this room that you couldn’t trust with your sorrow. Everyone understands it. They’d all have your back.”
Okay… feeling awkward. I didn’t come to discuss my feelings. “I’m good, Stone. Truly.”
“Well, I’m not.” I blink in surprise at the admission because, for months, he’s seemed to be loving life. “Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my brother. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel guilty for being here on this team when he’s not.”
“Same,” Coen says quietly and Hendrix nods.
I’m rendered speechless by these three men casually talking about continued struggles from the crash. They seem so well-adjusted.
Same as me.
Coen smiles. “It takes a long time to heal from the loss of a loved one. You and I… we lost lots of them on that day. If you need to talk, I’m always here for you. But to ease your mind, this is a social get-together. More camaraderie than anything.”
My gaze cuts to Coach West. That’s not the impression he gave me but hanging out with people I like doesn’t sound so bad. I’m a social guy by nature. Coach is deep in discussion with Brienne about something and it makes me wonder if they’re discussing my missed practice. Not really something that would be brought to the attention of the team’s owner but Brienne is closely involved with her players.
“Camden.” A soft voice behind me has me turning—Danica Brandt. She grins and steps in, arms spread wide for a hug. “It’s so good to see you.”
I pull her in with one arm since my other hand is occupied with my plate. “Twice in less than two weeks. Must be my lucky day.”
Danica laughs, gives an extra squeeze and I release her so she steps back. I notice the guys have meandered off, leaving us alone.
“I’m glad you came,” she says, her gentle brown eyes smiling with easy affection.
I nod toward Coen and Hendrix who are catching up with Boyd. “Guess better late than never, huh?”
She glances over at them and then back to me. “This is Hendrix’s first time. Coen’s been to a few gatherings this season.” That surprises me. I assumed when I saw them both here that they were regulars. She must read that on my face because she adds, “I talked to Hendrix about it at the Christmas party. It came up in conversation and I pushed him to come.”
Danica and I talked for a bit at that same gathering and she never mentioned this support group. I mean… I knew about it.
Vaguely.
But since I was never interested in something like this, I sort of pushed it away. I wonder if she could tell that about me, or maybe it came up in innocent conversation with Hendrix so she made the invite.
Regardless, I find myself admitting, “Coach made me come.”
Danica Brandt is an incredibly beautiful woman. One of those pretty, girl-next-door types with glossy, caramel-colored hair that complements her olive skin tone and doe-brown eyes. Those eyes soften even more with an insider’s knowledge that I might be having struggles because of the crash.
I brace for her push but instead she sweeps a fond glance around the room before she looks at me again. “This is absolutely a safe place for you, not only to talk about your experiences, but also to be silent if you want. Sometimes simply being around like-minded people is enough. So my advice to you? Enjoy reconnecting with old friends.”
And just like that, a massive release sweeps through my body and what had been previously pent-up tension floats away. I hadn’t realized how scared I was to actually be in an environment where I might have to talk about the crash and my feelings. And while Coen basically said the same thing to me two minutes ago, for some reason, I trust it more coming from Danica.