Anger flares within me, frustration boiling over. How can she presume to understand the depths of my pain? The complexities of my heart? I rise from my seat, unable to contain the rising tide of emotions.
“What. About. Sarah?” I repeat louder, turning to look at my sister in shock at her words.
She frowns. “Blake, Sarah is—”
“You think you know everything, don’t you?” I snap, my voice laced with bitterness. “You think you can just waltz into my life and tell me what I deserve? Well, you don’t know the first thing about it, Olivia! You have no idea how I feel, so just stop pretending!”
Her eyes widen, hurt flickering across her face. She never expected such a vehement response, and at this moment, I realize the sharpness of my words. Guilt washes over me, mingling with the frustration that still lingers.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble, my voice filled with remorse. I feel overwhelmed with stormy feelings trapped inside of me. “I didn’t mean to lash out like that. It’s just…it’s too soon. I’m not ready.”
Olivia’s gaze softens, forgiveness shining in her eyes. She reaches out and places a hand on mine, a gesture of understanding and support.
“I know it’s difficult, Blake,” she says gently, her voice filled with compassion. “But sometimes, the unexpected can lead to the most beautiful moments in life. Don’t close yourself off to the possibility of happiness.”
We sit in silence for a moment, the weight of our words hanging in the air. Deep down, I know Olivia is right. I can’t let fear hold me back forever. Perhaps it’s time to confront my demons, take a step toward the unknown, and see where this journey with Lily might lead me.
My heart quickens its pace. A mix of fear and anticipation churns in the pit of my stomach as I imagine what could happen if I let it. But I know I can’t do it. Annoyance prickles beneath my skin, my defenses rising instinctively to protect the fragile emotions I hide. It bothers me that Olivia assumes to know what’s best for me. I clench my fists, struggling to contain the frustration simmering within me.
“You don’t know that.”
“I know you’re miserable,” she bites back at me.
With a sudden surge of energy, I rise from my seat, the tension in the room palpable. Our gazes lock, a silent battle of wills and differing perspectives. Olivia’s unwavering determination clashes with my stubborn resistance, threatening to ignite a storm of emotions that I’m not ready to confront.
“I’m sorry, but this is not your business, Olivia,” I snap, my voice sharp and biting. “I don’t need you interfering in my private life.”
“But you live with me, Blake,” she argues, the pain seeping into her voice. “How can I not be involved in your personal life? You need help. You admitted it yourself, you’re—”
“Stop it. I can’t.”
“You deserve to be happy,” she insists.
“It’s too soon to even consider moving on!” I shout, the words are loud and sharp.
“Just drop it!”
Ashamed, I turn on my heel, frustration propelling my strides as I storm upstairs, seeking solace in the confines of my own space. When I get to the hall, Ethan peers around his bedroom door. Sensing that I’m angry, he runs to me and puts his small hand around mine, gripping tightly. He is my anchor, my reason to keep pushing forward even in the face of inner turmoil. I pick him up and then take him to my room, closing the door behind us. I want to shut the entire world out. I take a deep breath, attempting to calm the storm of emotions swirling within me. I can’t let Olivia’s words shake me. This is my journey, my heart, and I know what’s best for myself.
With Ethan by my side, I sit on the edge of my bed, his innocent presence a soothing balm to my troubled soul. I stroke his hair gently, finding solace in the unconditional love between a father and his son. Ethan’s presence serves as a reminder of the responsibilities and joys that come with parenthood.
“I’m okay,” I tell him. “I’m not fighting with Livy. Daddy just misses Mommy, okay? I know you understand. I bet you miss her all the time.” I sniffle and I realize that I’m crying. I swipe at my face.
I know I’m a mess. My heart begins to crumble. I try to squash down everything that I’ve felt this week with Lily—the companionship, the affection, attraction, and the pride. Everything feels so out of control, and I can’t get a handle on any of it.
Chapter 7
Lily
I step through my front door, my heart still racing from the encounter with Blake. The air feels charged with excitement and confusion, leaving me in a state of emotional turmoil. My mind replays the moments we’ve spent together, his gaze lingering on me, as we chatted in the car on the way home. Teenage me would be squealing right now, but I know I must hold it together. This man is my boss for goodness sake. I find myself unsure of how to navigate these newfound emotions. I should get a grip on myself.
“Right, bedtime, honey,” I say.
At the words, Emma screams and runs in the opposite direction. I sigh, amused. Some things never change. Thankfully, Olivia has already dressed her in her pajamas for me. I run after her and then grab her around the middle, marching upstairs with her as she giggles and wiggles in my grip.
“No teeths!” she says.
“Yes, teeth,” I tell her softly. “You’ve got to keep them nice and shiny!”
Thankfully, she doesn’t put up too much of a fight with her bedtime ritual, and eventually, I manage to wrangle Emma into her bedroom. However, my attempts to coax her into the bed are met with playful resistance. She’s still bouncing around. She runs to grab her teddies from her toy box, picking whom she wants to sleep with tonight.
“Just pick one,” I tell her.
“No, three,” she insists.
“Come on, sweetheart,” I say gently, trying to hide the exhaustion in my voice.
“It’s time for bed now.”
Emma looks up at me, her big, innocent eyes sparkling with mischief. But Mommy, I don’t want to go to bed yet. I’m not tired!”
A small smile tugs at the corners of my lips as I crouch down to her level.
“I know, sweetheart. You had a great time today with Livy and Ethan, didn’t you?”
“And Ethan’s Daddy,” she says.
As if I could forget. “Yes, and Blake.”
“I love playing with Ethan. I love him, Mommy.”
My heart swells with warmth at her words, grateful that Emma has found a friend in Ethan. “I’m glad, sweetie. He’s a nice boy, isn’t he?”
I’d been worried about leaving her with Olivia all day, I know I have to work but it doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty about it. I want to be with her all the time but it’s not realistic. To hear that she’s getting on so well with Ethan is just wonderful. It eases the worry that gnaws inside of me and makes me feel better about the situation.
“He is!” Emma nods enthusiastically. “And guess what, Mommy?”
“What?” I ask.
“I think you look nice in Livy’s dresses, and Ethan’s Daddy says so too. He said you are pretty!”